Often one of the oldest emotional regulation techniques recommended in therapy. Also, one of my first failures at regulation.
Before the blog, people used notebooks & diaries to jot down their thoughts. I was one of those people.
I also started blogging when I was 16. I was a LiveJournal user before it went Russian (or so it appeared when I last checked their website).
Between many sheets of paper and virtual writing space, I couldn’t tell you how many books could be filled with my words. I can tell you that I was a journaling/blogging failure.
What I did wrong.
Let me start with a list of things I did wrong. That will give you a starting point, and you can figure out the best route for you!
- I would reread everything I wrote. Repeatedly.
- I used journaling solely as a means of reflection, one that could elicit an emotional response with every word. This is especially true when it was heavy or negative.
- I continually tried to keep my writing uniform with heavy editing. Editing raw writing wasn’t helpful when I was trying to trauma dump in private.
When journaling was recommended to me, I’d always tell the therapist that it didn’t help. They would tell me that sounded unusual, but it was never discussed again.
I learned on my own that my approach was what caused me to flunk regulation through writing. Not the act itself.
What I did right (later).
When I realized where I was failing, I learned tricks that helped me regulate by writing. These were so simple, yet no one suggested them to me.
I am recommending these to you. Especially if you also struggle with journaling for emotional regulation.
- I don’t give a d*mn about formatting. The act of the emotional dump isn’t about how pretty it looks when I am done. Just write & never read it again! No editing. No spelling corrections. It isn’t perfection. It is dumping in the most literal sense.
- I also keep a gratitude journal that I heavily edit for appearance. If I spend too much time focused on the negative, I become more negative. So I keep track of all the things I am grateful for in my life, too. I reread these often.
- I started writing letters to people who hurt me, and destroyed them afterward. The act of writing a letter to those who hurt me most, but destroying it after, helped me let go of grief and anger without ever saying the words to the person directly.
- A therapist suggested a small notebook in my purse. When someone would outright insult or verbally attack me in customer service, I’d write out what I wanted to say and destroy it later. Never rereading my words. This helped me express my frustrations with the people I couldn’t respond to and let go of them later.
Writing doesn’t always require you to start with “Dear Diary”. Just as a fairy tale doesn’t require “Once Upon A Time”.
Sometimes, it really is about kvetching using written words and never looking at it again. Other times, it might be a written list of the good things in your life.
If you’re a journaling failure too, I hope this inspires you to try again with a slightly different approach. If you’ve never tried before, I hope this inspires you to try with a good grounding of what to try and avoid.
Writing is an art all its own. However, dumping your emotions isn’t about the art. It is about release.
If you love the art of writing, as I do, consider separating your articulate & edited thoughts from your emotional decompressions.
About Sketchual Healing L3C
We are an endeavor to spread self-care techniques, like Letters of Care, to promote positive mental health and wellness. Fully owned and operated by Angela J. Shupe, we’re an L3C focused on positive mental health and self-care initiatives.
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